Joe Biden Shatters Masturbation World Record

It's official, Joe Biden is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Joe Biden achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period! Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Joe Biden remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest. It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Joe Biden is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Joe Biden was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today". This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment. When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Joe Biden said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning".

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